Someone once said that the difference between ethics and etiquette is the presence of others. Etiquette is applicable when there are other people around, like cleaning your nose or passing gas. But when no one is around, the rules don’t matter. But for ethics, the rules matter whether people are present or not.
Consideration of others is not so much etiquette but ethics. If you have an empty bottle and you throw it into the bushes because no one else is looking is simply being inconsiderate. But, if your sense of consideration is deep, you will wait for the nearest trash bin.
Such is a mark of wellness and empowerment – when we see the world equally or even more valuable than ourselves. Oftentimes, people only care if they are affected. People didn’t care about the climate change issue until the flood submerged their houses. Families will only donate to cancer research if someone in their family is suffering of this disease. But true consideration is making sure that our actions and behaviors wouldn’t hurt or damage others even if we have been victims or not.
But where does consideration come from? Various researches have found out that it comes from at least five sources:
a. A memory with caring parents
Consideration can be an inherited behavior. When both parents are very considerate of others, chances are their children will grow up showing the same behavior. It acts like an auto-reminder from an inner voice. Before you throw away plastic bottle into the bushes, you can hear your mother saying, “That is not good” in your mind.
b. Acquired behavior from a caring community
Consideration is also a learned behavior. It has been established that people who grow up in a caring community are very considerate ones. Anecdotal evidences point out that those who have lived in rural and farming communities – where animals are nurtured and cared for – become very considerate even if they move to the big city.
c. An intuition for compassion and caring
Consideration it seems is also an innate character of being human. We have a natural tendency to look out for another. This is an intuition developed through evolution of surviving against the more ferocious species in the forest. The only problem is that oftentimes we don’t pay attention to our intuition. Margit Cathrine Moller, healer, coach, counselor and therapist based in Canada, has developed a unique tool in helping people using her intuitive approach. Such a process helps clients get in touch with their own intuition.